I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She said her name was "party"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
