just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize