I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
