I am puke
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
