3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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