his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
