you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
