I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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