What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
