If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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