you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
