At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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