You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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