finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
