We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
