You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
