Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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