I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
