So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
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Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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