For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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