one two three fourrrrnication!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
