Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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