oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's Friday. Sex?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
