i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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