Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He better not be in your backpack
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
