Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
