is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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