As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
