i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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