So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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