So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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