Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
