And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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