I'm really into asian looking animals
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
