I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
