hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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