I should be sponsored by Trojan
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
