If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
