I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
