Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
