just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Your cock deserves a montage
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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