is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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