You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
