Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
