Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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