had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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