3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
