margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
