You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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