We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
