i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize