the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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