last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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