Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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