wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
