dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All I want is dick and wine.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
