I wish I only lived at night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
