and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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