My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
